


Honor, Honesty, Valor and Loyalty

by magicasen



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Avengers Vol. 3 (1998), M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 04:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11223141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicasen/pseuds/magicasen
Summary: When Steve tries to break Tony out of Morgan le Fay's mind-control by waking him up, he doesn't expect Tony to kiss him. He also doesn't mean to kiss him back.





	Honor, Honesty, Valor and Loyalty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [faite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faite/gifts).



> Happy 6/16 day! It's still 6/16 somewhere out there in the world, thanks Hawaii :)
> 
> This was prompted by faite, so she's to blame for sad Steve. 
> 
> The fic takes place starting from Avengers v3 #2! The title is the Code of Chivalry of the Knights of the Round Table, because I thought Tony would appreciate that, heh.
> 
> Thanks to Sineala for checking this over!

_Avengers! Anyone, if you can hear me...I need your help!_

The horse whinnied, stomping its feet in place at the sudden, tight hold on its reins. Steve gripped with his thighs so he wouldn't fall off.

A horse? He'd done his time training with the cavalry, alright, but it wasn't a skill he often took advantage of.

His horse was in full barding, splendid armoring over its head and neck in a rich red, white, and blue. The armor was a matched set with Steve's, heavy and decorated, regal yet serviceable, and a long way from Captain America's.

Things were coming back to him now: Thor's warning of a threat to the world, and the Avengers, old and new, assembling once again to stop it. Wanda's capture by Asgardian villains, and then—that had been Morgan le Fay, hadn't it, and it felt like she'd cleaved the world in two with Asgard's sacred sword.

And now Steve found himself here, in some mock-medieval age as the commander of the Queen's Vengeance, sworn to serve her at the cost of his own life.

Great. Another alternate reality.

There was only one thing to do, then. Steve turned his horse around, taking off toward the town. If he was here, so were the rest of the Avengers, and it was about time they got assembled.

* * *

The commander of the queen's troops would waltz right into any part of the barracks he liked, and that gave Steve free reign of who to recruit back first to the Avengers. He and Clint had split to recruit Avengers leaving Steve alone on his mission.

Steve pulled back the curtains beside the bed.

He'd spotted the armor on the bedside table, familiar albeit the change in setting, but the same couldn't be said for the person. Tony's hair had grown out, long enough that it fell into his eyes and could tickle his nose. Very aristocratic, Steve thought, which suited his division commander noble lord.

Tony's expression was open and relaxed, and he mumbled a bit, smiling, skin a bit flushed. Good dreams, maybe, and Steve was glad for that, having shared too many late-night conversations with the man when insomnia and nightmares had kept them awake.

Tony was going to be so mad when he found out he'd fallen under mind control again, and Steve was loath to be the one to tell him.

As much as he would have liked to stay and watch, they had a job to do. Steve took off his helmet.

“Tony, you've got to listen. You've got to remember.”

He got a grumble of protest, and Steve knelt down beside the bed, reaching out for Tony's bare shoulder.

Steve felt him wake, his shoulders relaxing, breaths growing shallower. His eyes were slow to open, and it only made the blue more striking.

It wasn't at all like Tony'd been rudely roused from sleep. A slow smile spread across his face as he pushed himself up on an elbow, and Steve felt his own mouth echoing Tony's. It would mean the world to have Iron Man by his side here.

“Oh, you're back,” Tony said, with the same lazy smile.

“Yes, I am.”

Tony's grin widened, and then he reached his hand out to put around Steve's neck, and okay, he wanted a comradely hug for their reunion. Steve could understand the sentiment, and leaned into the touch.

Tony's mouth was on his, and Steve's brain shut down. Tony's lips were soft, and his fingers began to thread gently through Steve's hair, and all the physical sensation did was make Steve's mind go blanker.

When he'd finally recovered from the shock, his eyes were closed and he was moaning with Tony's tongue in his mouth.

He had no idea how it'd gotten to this point, and put his hand on Tony's shoulder before he realized he couldn't feel his skin through the glove. Tony groaned when Steve grunted, scrabbling to remove his glove, spreading his fingers over the lean muscle of Tony's bare back as Tony licked into his mouth.

“I got Jan and Monica, Cap, easy as pie. They'll be right—”

Steve launched himself back, and Tony nearly fell onto the floor.

“Aw, no. You didn't—not him!”

Clint sounded more exasperated than shocked. “He's _never_ gonna go for it,” he grumbled, and it dawned on Steve that he hadn't seen them. He wasn't sure whether to be relieved, or angry that Clint didn't have faith in Tony. 

Jan flew overhead. “Don't worry. He was one of the first of us. He'll remember, right, Tony?”

“You know Tony never listens to Cap!” Clint insisted.

“I know it sounds crazy, Tony, but just listen. You'll hear it within you,” Monica insisted.

Tony hadn't moved, eyes darting between the new arrivals. His mouth was ajar and his lips were still wet, and Steve flushed all over.

Tony's eyes slid over to Steve, and Steve felt ready to jam his helmet back on.

“Cap...?” He smacked his lips on the last p, and the sense of dread was already creeping over Steve.

“It's too late, Steve, we're going to have to take him with us whether he can snap out of it or not, before he sics the whole guard on us,” Clint said, moving in to grab him.

“Steve.” Tony was staring at him, before his eyes widened in horror, the blush already beginning to creep into his cheeks. “Oh.”

“You remember us, right, Tony?” Jan asked.

'Yeah,” Tony said, and he couldn't even look at Steve. “I do now.”

* * *

With Wanda's powers at work, they defeated le Fay and returned to present-time Earth. The Avengers were operating again, the episode put behind them, but for Steve, things were far from over.

He hadn't talked with Tony one-on-one since they'd gotten back from the past a week ago. It was easy to brush things off as being too busy, but that had never stopped Steve before. He'd never hesitated to make time before, go back to Manhattan for a quick lunch, or to drop by even after sleepless forty-eight hour missions just so he wouldn't miss a movie night with his friend.

Friend. Right. Because people just let their friends stick their tongues down their throat.

So, Steve had a crush on his fellow Avenger. Best friend. But he knew better than to act on it, all up until mind-controlled Tony had kissed him.

 _Mind-controlled._ What was Steve even thinking? Of course Tony was avoiding him, and if only Steve had stopped him at the beginning, instead of giving into impulse. Usually, Steve's instinct was something he could rely on, but Tony always turned things in Steve's life upside-down.

Now Steve had spelled out to Tony, in terms plain and clear, just what the nature of his feelings were. Part of Steve wanted to forget the kiss ever happened. Another part couldn't do that, because that would be unfair to Tony.

The worst part, that Steve chose not to take into account, the part simmering under the surface, replayed the kiss to Steve in his dreams, the heat of Tony's mouth, the scratch of his beard, the breathy sighs against Steve playing on an endless loop.

As long as it didn't affect their working relationship, Steve had no room to complain. They'd just picked out the new Avengers lineup, and Tony hadn't hesitated volunteering for the new team alongside Steve. After announcing the new team, it was hard not to feel accomplished, regardless of his personal life.

He was making his way to the kitchen, hoping to find some of the newest members of the team loitering, lured by Jarvis's snack trays, when a voice called out.

“Oh, Steve!”

Steve nearly jumped when Tony put a hand on his shoulder, and slowly turned around.

“Tony. Is there something?”

Tony was out of the armor now, back into a short-sleeved collared button-up. Practically casual, and Steve kept his eyes away from his arms.

“I figured,” Tony said, with a sunny smile, “since we're both going to be on the same team again, we should have a little chat. Founder to founder.”

“Oh. Right. Should we call Thor?” Steve asked, feeling like a coward.

“I love Thor, I do,” Tony said, smile not breaking, “but sometimes it's good to ground ourselves with the people who aren't Asgardian gods. Normality is good, super-soldier to armored industrialist.”

Steve wasn't sure how Tony could effortlessly pull this off like he was charming people at a party. He was invited into a sitting room, where Tony closed the door but didn't lock it. Steve chose the sofa, and it wasn't until Tony sat in the single-seater that Steve realized he had subconsciously left enough room for Tony to sit beside him.

“First of all,” Tony began, 'I want to tell you how glad I am to be working with you again. Being on the Avengers never quite felt right without you.”

“You know the feeling's always mutual,” Steve told him.

Tony's smile flagged, finally. It took a lot for him to lose his reflexive smile in front of others. Steve's first instinct was to reach out and lay a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't have that right, anymore.

“Ah, yeah... about that. I wanted to talk to you—for the sake of the team. About us. About when we were back in le Fay's alternate universe...”

Steve's blood ran cold, his heartbeat pounding. He consciously kept his breathing slow and steady, and he was sure Tony could hear it, too.

He thought—had been sure—that Tony could forgive him. But Tony didn't have to be fine with what he did just because Steve wanted him to be. He shouldn't be.

“I'm sorry,” Steve said in a rush.

Tony shook his head. “No, I'm sorry.” He wrung his hands in front of him. “I need to tell you that, I had no idea it was you when I kissed you.”

“I know,” Steve said, the feeling of awfulness heating him up, “but I did know it was you, so I shouldn't—”

“I never would have done it if I knew,” Tony blurted, and that shut Steve up. “It was—I was having a dream, and things were so similar.” Tony buried his face in a hand. “I didn't realize I was even awake, then.”

Steve didn't want to believe it, but the blush on Tony's face confirmed it. Oh god. Steve had watched Tony have a sex dream, and all he'd thought about was how blissful Tony had looked. He had to delete the image from his memory, immediately, his mind overheating.

“I know that, you, well.” Tony waved a hand between the two of them. “Just rest assured, I would never make a move like that on you.” Tony smiled, suddenly, and it was like being dropped into ice water. It took Steve a very long moment to work his facial muscles into an answering smile.

Steve supposed he was supposed to respond here, but he didn't think he could do much more than keep his expression frozen in a smile.

“We're okay?” Tony asked, suddenly soft.

Steve nodded, then cleared his throat. “Always.”

“So,” Tony chuckled, “let's just chalk this up to drowsiness and stupidity, right?”

“Right.” Of course, Steve felt like the stupidest person in the world.

* * *

Steve took his usual short-cut back through Central Park, but when the outline of the mansion emerged in front of him, he hooked a right. The rhythmic pounding of his feet against the pavement was background noise, a jolt of his body that kept him grounded.

His mind was a jumble, a mess of lines and circles that met curves and sharp detours. Tony hadn't meant to kiss him, would never have done it if given the choice. But Tony was perfectly happy to kiss him when he didn't know who he was. So, it wasn't about attraction, or orientation. It all came down to Steve.

That was fine. He told himself as much, tried to imagine it, if one of his teammates came up out of the blue. Thor, or Rick, or Sam approaching him with their feelings. He loved them, didn't want to imagine a life without them, but the idea confused him more than anything else. He wouldn't hate, or feel uncomfortable, or not want to be around them. So, he shouldn't feel like Tony would avoid him, that they couldn't be partners anymore.

Even if their relationship had grown cool, an acquaintanceship characterized by acknowledgment at the breakfast table. They hadn't sparred, or treated each other to dinner, or just sat together in silence, comforted by each other's company. Steve hadn't seen Tony's lab since the team had reassembled, and Tony hadn't asked to see any of his latest artwork.

Tony just needed time, Steve told himself. Tony was making a plan now, on what he and Steve were.

Steve had known for a long time what they could be—Winghead-and-Shellhead—friends, partners, Avengers. Never lovers. But Tony's denial kept replaying in his head, crumbling a little more off him each time.

Steve had never done well with losing hope.

So, all he wanted to do was go back to Tony kissing him, and maybe, there could be—

There couldn't, he told himself firmly, and decided that it was time to go for his third lap.

* * *

“Meeting adjourned,” Steve said, leaning back. There wasn't the usual banter, invitations to hang out or get some food, as the team shuffled out, occupied by the thoughts on their own minds.

It wasn't surprising. The Avengers had public opinion turned against them. Steve wasn't unused to it, nor to being chairman at the height of it, but it felt a particularly hard blow when they'd just reassembled, a fresh start marred by its set-backs.

He watched Tony, still looking through some files at the chair beside him, helmet on the table. He felt exhausted, all of a sudden, how he'd worn himself thin on his feelings and the kiss, when he still was allowed this.

“Tony,” Steve said, before he even realized.

Tony's head snapped up. “What is it, Cap?”

“It's nothing. I just wanted to say—thank you.” The words felt ridiculous, but that didn't mean they shouldn't have been said.

“Um.” Tony leaned back, squinting at him. “What for?”

“Not anything in particular. I'm glad that you can work together with me, still. I don't know what I would have done without the Avengers again.”

Tony's expression softened. “I thought we established that Steve Rogers can and should have a life out of the Avengers. But of course I'll work together with you, Steve or Cap. It's a comfort that we're both too caught up in this Avengers thing to ever feel otherwise.”

Tony was probably used to it, being so easy to fall in love with, and having to break so many hearts. Of course Steve's feelings didn't bother Tony. He was one in many, no matter how much he wanted to be special. But he already was, in one way, as Tony's Winghead, and he thought maybe he could live with that.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “once an Avenger, always an Avenger, and we're not letting love or war get between that.”

“They're complicated things,” Tony agreed, face pinched. “We've disagreed enough. The last thing I'd want is to fight you.”

“And,” Steve added, “just because I have my feelings, it won't change who we are.”

He was ready for another agreement, and got nothing in return.

Tony stared at him. “Your feelings?”

Steve held his chin high. Just because Tony didn't return his feelings, Steve could still be proud of falling in love with one of the most brilliant people in the world. “Yes. My feelings for you.”

“What?”

Steve felt ready to scowl at this point, Tony taking his polite avoidance even after Steve had dropped all pretenses. “You kissed me, when you thought you were dreaming, but I kissed back. Because I was weak, and I wanted to.”

“Wait,” Tony said. He opened his mouth a few times, tilted his head. “You want me to kiss you? Again?”

Steve blinked back. “Yes.” Tony didn't know, Steve realized, about how Steve felt, and now he'd just—

“I want you to kiss me all the time,” Steve breathed. His face was blazing. It felt different, admitting the feelings that were more powerful than anything he could imagine, and saying out loud everything he wanted in his hands. Of course he wanted Tony's mind, his kindness and generosity, his laugh. But he also wanted Tony's skin beneath his fingers, and his lips on his, and to not have to feel anything other than his body against him.

Steve watched Tony blink, eyes darting from Steve's lips and back, before licking his lips.

The first time they'd done this, Steve hadn't even realized what was happening until it was too late. But now, with Tony leaning in, eyelashes fanning over his cheeks, Steve wanted to draw him, etch every unforgettable line. Steve closed his eyes, memorizing every detail, like an iron brand against his memory.

The touch was like electric, the single point of contact between them making him light-headed. When they pulled back, and Steve wondered if Tony was trembling like he was.

Tony wasn't. He was smiling, something too bright to ever convey on paper, and Steve had put that smile there, had made Tony look like he had the whole world. Steve couldn't have ever imagined he could do that, and they both leaned in, this time.

What Steve had wanted from Tony, feelings and desire that had always been carefully hidden away and painfully spilled over in their friendship. Steve couldn't believe it until Tony smiled into the kiss, that this was a world where he could have both.

 


End file.
